Friday, May 25, 2012

reveal

SPM is NOT easy. since I was a kid, I'd always wanted to achieve straight A's in every single examination that I'd to take. getting 5A's in UPSR was easy. hahaa though I kept on getting 4A's in trials, at the end, I excelled. alhamdulillah. when I was in standard 6, I used to be one of the top 10 students in school and I was denominated at the 3rd place, best students among standard 6 classes. and yeah, not to forget, I got Mumtaz for PSRA. thinking abt it makes me feel, 'Waaa, never thought I could be that brilliant back then.'

during the beginning of high school life, I'd got offered to a SMA school, placed just nearby my house. my whole family were dying to ensure I furthered my studies there yet unfortunately, I didn't. cause not even a friend of mine wanted to accept the offer. so, I decided to go to the nearest government school which was SMKBTHO2. truth be told, I never liked that school since the start. and I'm still wondering why. furthering my studies in boarding school was always be a dream to me. but Allah knew better, I didn't get any offers. maybe that was a sign. a sign that I should listen to my parents, and stop being selfish.

I still kept my performance in studies really well until...... in form two, I got a heart break. I broke up with someone. and surprisingly, I had never thought I could be like one of them, to get into this 'coupling' and bla blaaa stuffs. cause being in a serious relationship with anyone never came across my mind. even my best friends used to label me as 'ustazah'. yet, it just happened. no. I did not blame on him. after all, he was the one who taught me how to say those 3 words for the first time haha K. 

and it continued until when I was in form 4, things got worse. I was sick. terribly sick. and the main reason why was because......... yeah, the same reason againnnn.. but that time was soooo much worse. 2010 was such a disappointing year for me.. I cried a lot through out the whole year.. my parents put on so much effort to make sure I would be okay... but...

form 5 life was a lil bit challenging. I struggled so hard, just because I wanted to achieve my target; getting straight A's in SPM. but only Allah knew how bad I felt. cause every time I studied or revised any subjects, I would forget almost 90% of information that I read on the next day. sometimes I felt like giving up. what should I study, then because after all, I couldn't recall anything... that time was hard. very hard. I wanted to be healthy again. cause 'this thg' seemed love to bother up my mind.

but alhamdulillah, I thank Allah for everything. I might not achieve what I want.. but He knows well, He knows better. and nvm, I would fight for my future so that nothing can ever stop me from getting what I dream of.. insyaAllah.. help me, ya Rabb.




No comments: