all of sudden, everythg seems so 'fresh' at the back of my mind. laughter and tears, all those good and bad times.. to be honest, I am scared. I am partially traumatized. to be left all alone, to be ditched, to be treated like a stranger, I still can feel how bad the pain stabbed on my chest. it keeps on creeping, usually at the moment I don't expect the most. why oh why? I shouldn't get too attached. how silly. how silly I was, thinking they would never leave, that my special spot would never be replaced by someone else.
as time passes by, I've started to accept the fact that I am no longer special, that they have found someone way better than me. the pain is still bearable, yet I'm totally broken. let's just... act and think like a grown up. life goes on anyway. clock won't stop ticking. earth won't stop spinning. it's all a matter of time. I'd rather act like I don't give a damn anymore. my bad. I naturally ain't a type of girl who fixes things. I'd rather 'wait for miracle to happen'. I'd rather be the one who watches and sees what'll come later on.
why should I feel sad for the ones who left? do I need to beg so that they would come back? no. no way. no such thing. I'll just appreciate and value those who still stay. for those who're not, that's not my loss anymore, yet if you still need me, I'll be there, like I always say.
missing those old times. why do people change, anyway?