"one day, I'll be fine but I'll be covered with scars."
those who understand will see me in a different perspective, which is a part where I hidden neatly with a little hope that someday, someone will expose and let it uncovered. I've built up a high wall made of the toughest steel so that no one can ever reach and break it. truthfully, I'm not okay and totally in urge of being happy. but it's okay not to be okay, aite? just like Jessie J once said. my soul has been wandering for a while without any sign to come back. oh Allah, help me. help me to deal and get out from these mixed up feelings that leave my life in a mess.
I don't exactly know what I am up to but all I know is I've had enough and I am fregginly tired with everything. when you have to set aside your own feelings, just because someone else's feeling matters more to you :( when you try to chin up and smile though your heart aches just because you really don't wanna let ppl know and make them worried. when you stay up the whole night studying but end up nothing gets in your head just because somethg unnecessary bothers you. when you don't exactly sure what you do that might give impact later on and you just follow your heart without bringing your brain together.
I'm not sure either what I'm doing now is right or not, but I believe everythg happens for a reason. as long as I keep on praying, inshaaAllah He will keep me company till the end of the path.
keep me close to You. only You're my savior. only You can heal me.