it is too painful to lose someone you love so much.
but it is even more painful knowing that you'll only get to see him/her again in the other world, no more in this dunya.
i pray to Allah to give me a chance to see ayah again someday. i miss you, ayah. it doesn't feel the same without you. i pray to Allah to reunite our whole family in Jannah, when the time comes. see you, ayah. inshaaAllah.
maybe it is too much to ask for, but at least, I've tried, isn't? at least, I've prayed, isn't?
and now things have changed.. soon, I'll no longer be the only girl in their hearts, ayah, even though they keep convincing that they'll still love me as much as I love them. I just wanna see them happy.
I don't expect people to fully understand me, as they're not even in my shoes. they might motivate me with such words, but the only thing that makes keep moving is that Allah won't still allow me to breathe unless to worship Him. only Him. and to repent. this is totally a wake up call.
I wish I am invisible. no one would judge.